Carousels make me sick. Metaphorically and literally. I don't like the idea of going around and around and not getting anywhere. I equate them to those awful dreams you have when you're being chased by something horrific and your legs are suddenly attached to buckets of water. Running through quick sand. Yeah...game over, son.
Also...I just don't really like going in circles. That's not normal.
Oh hello, btw, dear dedicated reader of my blog. How are you? :)
I've decided to label these postings as "Behind: ___(insert song name here)____". Don't worry, I won't spend every post talking about what my songs are about or how they came to be. I know you're not all idiots. I realize you are perfectly capable of figuring out what my songs are about. This is just to warm you up. I promise I will have other posts. But since we're still just getting to know each other, I figure this is the best way to become acquainted. (I take that back. You're learning a lot about me, but I have no idea who you are, or maybe I do. Either way this seems unfair. I'll have to brainstorm about fixing that issue...)
Carousel. I wrote Carousel in July, probably about a week after The Seams. Alert, alert! This song is NOT about a boy. Phew. Broke that streak, finally. For those of you who do not know, I teach violin privately. I currently have around thirty students in my studio. I've worked hard to build up my studio the past two years and I've honestly wanted to teach for as long as I can remember. Maybe one day I'll have a post dedicated to all my past teachers, but for now...just realize that my teachers were/are very dear to me. Now that I am a teacher, myself, I realize how fast children grow. One of my favorite things about teaching is seeing kids mature and watching them understand and discover and crave greatness. It's a really satisfying feeling to know that you're a part of that process as a teacher. On the other hand, sometimes my job is to act more like a counselor. I have kids who come into my studio and tell me how their fellow students say he/she is stupid and treat them "like dirt". I have kids who deal with really difficult and painful home situations. It can be heartbreaking at times to know that you can't change their situation and you can't necessarily 'fix' them. The most you can do is show them love and hopefully give them the capability of creating something they can be proud of, something they can pursue that is good and beautiful and rewarding. Kids grow so fast, but what's more troubling is how early some kids have to grow up. That's really what my song is about. The dizzy feeling I get when I hear stories about kids having to defeat impossible and invisible monsters, climbing mountains that never seem to peak.
There's my emotional contribution of Behind: Carousel.
Say "piz-za" four times in a row: Piz-za, Piz-za, Piz-za, Piz-za
Now say "pine-ap-ple" four times: Pine-ap-ple, Pine-ap-ple, Pine-ap-ple, Pine-ap-ple
That's the difference. Two vs. Three. Syllables = Subdivisions of beats. I basically chose to accentuate three rather than two because it naturally has a circular feel. It's just hidden underneath bigger, stronger beats. I hope that makes sense to you and I hope you can hear it now that I explained it. I would've used numbers to represent the rhythm, but most likely you would've added space after the third beat without realizing it which would have defeated the whole purpose of this exercise. My students always laugh at me when I tell them that I love food so much that I just have to incorporate it into music somehow.
I guess the only other interesting thing musically is that at the end of the bridge, I used some suspensions in the harmonies to create that tension-release feeling we are all so familiar with. Eventually I'd like it to be a thicker texture, but I'm only one person and after doing three or four sets of harmonies I get tired. And bored. Mostly impatient. But I do proudly admit that I love suspensions. I don't care how cheesy they may be...I love them. (Thank you, Barber. Do any of you get this reference? Name that piece!) My boyfriend laughs at me whenever I talk about suspensions...
"I love suspensions."
"I know you do."
"Oh."
That's usually how that conversation goes. Oh yeah, and in case you don't know...my boyfriend is a musician as well. He plays circles around me on the piano and has his own songwriting project that he's pursuing. I'll have to post about his music at some point...
Eventually I'd like the last chorus to be more...busy. Chaotic. But a pleasant chaotic. Have you guys ever seen a film where (the only example I can think of is at the end of The Illusionist) there's a big twist and while you and the character are simultaneously figuring out just how that twist came to be, the music is swirling, and many times the camera angle moves in a circular fashion so that you literally feel like you're spinning? I'd like to replicate that feeling, but in my music. I think I need many more string/key/vocal tracks to accomplish it, but that's my vision for the song. Ultimately, I'd like listeners to feel like they are in a bubble and everything around them is moving freely but constantly, like the eye of a mini tornado. My analogies are getting out of hand. Now all I can think about is the movie Forces of Nature. So many references for one post.
Anyhow. There's some background about Carousel. I hope you like it :) As always, I will post the lyrics below. Happy Tuesday!
xo
"Carousel"
Little boy said to me,
"Will you hold my hand?
I am lost, I am scared
They tell me to be a man."
And the world turns
And around the carousel spins
Nobody sees the boy in the corner
Who tries hard to fit in
'Till there's nothing left
Nothing left of him.
Little girl said to me,
"Will you braid my hair?
I am not as pretty
As the girls I see everywhere."
And the world turns
And around the carousel spins.
Nobody sees the girl in the mirror
Who tries hard to fit in
'Till there's nothing left
Nothing left of her.
Will there ever come a day when we just see?
And around the carousel spins
Nobody sees the boy in the corner
Who tries hard to fit in
'Till there's nothing left
There's nothing left...
And around the carousel spins
Nobody sees the girl in the mirror
Who tries hard to fit in
'Till there's nothing left
There's nothing left of her.
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